We tend to think that work is where you will suffer (at least a little) in order to earn a living. The House and the couple, on the other hand, is a refuge safe, full of love and understanding (at least a little).
But there are those who believe that the job is much easier than love. Alain de Botton is called, is philosopher and dedicates itself to get out of the routine with phrases like this through videos from YouTube.
Do you think that it is easier to work than relationships?
Mainly because in the work our bosses, colleagues and ourselves up to start from the idea that We are mediocre. That we fulfil our role requires that form us and give us time to accumulate some of experience. There is that evaluate us from time to time and that, when it comes to communicating the results of the assessment, there is that start with the good news and for every negative comment made positive seven. All this to keep a good working environment, so that we can pay. Change of us expect us to behave with professionalism. That is, that let us control our irritation and bad mood and to talk about things that do not like us with quiet, civilized way, without offending anyone.
In love, on the other hand, our partner is based on the idea that we are exceptional. We are that person understands them without words. You do not have to explain anything, already know it. When after several months or years of this telepathic communication relationship begins to fail, rather than pass to communicate with words, we are more inclined to suspect that the other refuses to understand us. This lack of understanding makes us think that I may not be our soul mate, what scares us, especially if there are children and a mortgage of by means.
Have us think that is he must want us by what we are. In fact that is the wonderful thing about love: despite all the defects that we know that we have, someone we find irresistible. To make us a negative comment is almost a betrayal and since then an alarm signal: what we are already not worth? Now don’t we want as before?
For some reason it occurs of course we all are capable of loving, always and when demos with the appropriate partner. Read Erich Fromm that this is like giving course We are all great painters, if we do not paint well is because we do not find the suitable model.
At work, fortunately, means that we have no idea until not us it forms properly.
Alain de Botton just his video saying that difficult be directing a nuclear power plant, is still much simpler than trying to be happy next to another human being in a sexual relationship that lasts many years. There is nothing more difficult in the world. We are so complex, our expectations are so high, our romantic culture is so poor that to get out of House one Monday morning to go back to work can be a real relief.
Think that by default we are not worthy of love, we don’t love and are not able to make happy someone else with our mere presence frightens. But if we reflect a little, the idea that we are not exceptional and that our partner is not what a relief.
The search for love ceases to be a lottery in which nothing depends on us. It’s more like looking for work. Get a quotation is like an interview, a first step. Start living together is like signing a permanent contract, a good start. But we will be futile if we are not there every morning at the agreed time, neat and professional, willing to make mistakes, admit our mistakes, try again, give it all to win the next rise.
In Jezebel | The five situations in which you debited (lovingly) your partner